Jharoka

Three years ago today, I was living a blissful existence, not knowing that my life’s trajectory would be jolted from its axis in less than two weeks, when my mother would finish her journey in this worldly life and enter the eternal one. From that day forward, my view of life has changed drastically. Like most of us, I had taken for granted the existence of the one person who I was a part of, and who became a part of me.

To find some peace, I pray. In Surah Qaf, 50:16, it says: “Indeed, We created humankind and know what their soul whispers to them, and We are closer to them than their jugular vein.” I interpret this as a reminder that my Creator can put words to feelings and prayers that I cannot express. Still, I try—so I can delve deep to find meaningful words, invoking the beautiful Asma Ul Husna (99 names / attributes of Allah ﷻ) that may be received as gifts from me for my mother’s soul. Here is my humble attempt.

Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim (In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful)

Ya-Rahman (The Most Merciful) and Ya-Rahim (The Especially Merciful), You whose mercy encompasses all things—wrap my mother in that mercy today and always.

Ya Allah, You are the Creator of hearts and life, the Knower of the unspoken, and the Granter of peace. Today, I turn to You (again and always) as a child who feels broken without the presence of my mother. I come to You with a heavy heart, seeking Your infinite mercy for my mother, who returned to You. The void feels as wide as the day she left.

Ya Latif (The Most Subtle and Kind), You who are kind in the most subtle of ways—expand her grave, fill it with the fragrance of Paradise, illuminate it with a light that never dims, and make it a place of beauty beyond what is humanly conceivable. Let her resting place be a garden from the gardens of Jannah. She was my first home, my first teacher, and my first love. My mother spent her life worrying about my comfort. I plead with You to grant her the ultimate comfort.

Ya Wadud (The Most Loving), You placed a drop of Your infinite love into my mother’s heart, and through her, I knew what it felt like to be safe. Let her feel Your love and the love of the angels every moment. Shower her with a tenderness that exceeds the love she showered upon me. Keep her under Your shade and Your protection.

Ya Ra’uf (The Extremely Compassionate), have compassion on her soul. For every night she stayed awake for me, grant her a thousand years of peaceful rest. For every pain she hid to keep me smiling, grant her joy in the Barzakh that makes her forget every hardship she ever faced.

Ya Ghaffar (The Repeatedly Forgiving) and Ya Afuww (The Effacer of Sins), erase her mistakes as if they never happened. Forgive her for the times she may have been overwhelmed. Do not just forgive her sins—turn her bad deeds into good ones through Your infinite generosity.

Ya Rabb‑e‑Karim (Oh Lord, The Most Generous and Bountiful), when she is questioned, grant her the tongue of truth and make her answers firm. Grant her the highest station in Jannat al‑Firdaus, without any reckoning or punishment. Let her drink from the fountain of Al‑Kawthar, by the hand of our intercessor, our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ after which she will never feel thirst again.

Allow her to cross the Siraat at the speed of light, enter Paradise, and be reunited with those she loved.

Ya Allah, accept every tear I have shed for her as a witness of my love for her. Accept every good deed I do, every prayer I pray, and every charity I give as a gift for her soul—and let the reward of it reach her immediately. Let the angels tell her, “This is a gift from your child who loves you and misses you.”

“Rabbi irhamhuma kama rabbayani sagheera” (My Lord, have mercy upon them—my parents—as they raised me when I was small). — Surah Al‑Isra (17:24)

Ya Allah, keep her memory alive in our hearts with goodness, and grant our family the patience to continue her legacy of kindness and faith. The ache of this separation is heavy. I ask You to heal this incompleteness one day by gathering us together in Al‑Firdaus. Let my first sight in the next life be her smiling face, welcoming me home.

If you have made it to this post / page, I would be most appreciative if you could say a prayer or recite Al-Fatiha for my beloved mother. Thank you.