Jharoka

Today marks a full week since we laid my mother to rest. Still hard to believe, let alone process. But what I find amazing and beautiful is that friends that have visited her grave have shared and sent pictures to show the roses we placed on her grave remain fresh and intact. I understand that it has been continuously raining so the flowers have been fed through God’s mercy of rain, but I find it fascinating that deer or other animals had not eaten the flowers as I had seen happen so many times at graves in the past. Deep down I feel like it’s a sign that my Mom’s soul is blooming and that the roses being so fresh and alive are a message from my Mom. God knows, but it gives me comfort in this thought as I try to practice two of her greatest virtues.

Of the hundreds of great qualities / virtues my mother possessed, sabr and shukr have to be the hallmark of who she was.

Sabr (patience) is something that seemed innate to my mother. Apart from patience, sabr can also be defined as endurance or fortitude in the face of grief or calamity, steadfastness or perseverance to fulfill God’s commands and forbearance or self-restraint from committing acts prohibited by God. I can’t recall a time throughout my life that she was reactive about any situation, regardless of it’s gravity. She would allow herself time to process and be thoughtful before taking action. As I think and reflect on this, I am in awe of the fortitude and self-restraint she demonstrated, with grace. She always believed (and more importantly acted), that you must not allow words to leave your mouth that cannot be taken back.

Shukr (contentment, gratitude) was a trademark of my mother always. There is not a single moment where I can recall her being ungrateful, unthankful or dissatisfied with what she had. She used to give examples of her father (whom she had the greatest and deepest respect an admiration of) throughout my life that he would always say to look below and never above to appreciate all the blessings of God. I recall times of great financial challenges where she would put our utility bills on payment plans but made sure that charity/donations to those truly in need were never interrupted saying that we still have so much. Not understanding that when I was young, as I grew older I realized how profound these acts were / are.

In every conversation with her, I would ask “How are you, Mom?” and she would always reply “Jo waqt guzar gaya, Allah ka shukr”, meaning “whatever time has passed, I am thankful to God”. When we would often talk about my sister who passed away in 2018, she would say a prayer for her and then say “Jo tha, uska shukr, jo hai uska shukr aur jo tha aur wapis le liya Allah ne, uska bhi bohat shukr” meaning, “I’m thankful for what was, what is and was and was taken back [as we all belong to Him], I am so grateful to God”. These are beautiful idioms but she lived them and that is what is exemplary.

I strive to make my mother’s soul happy and for her to reap the rewards of her goodness through the good deeds she instilled in me. May God help me on my mission to do so. Ameen.

If you have made it to this post / page, I would be most appreciative if you could say a prayer for my beloved mother. Thank you.