Jharoka

It is the eve of my return to work after bereavement leave. Islamically, three days is the mourning period observed, a time of increased devotion, receiving of visitors and condolences. However, grief and grieving have no time limit.

I am trying to be compassionate with myself, having lost both my parents in a 3 month period and my maternal aunt who played a huge role in my life. This kind of loss is not easy to process, so I am doing my best to navigate through a new territory and trying to figure out what a new “normal” may be and/or what I want it to be. Time will tell.

My emotions remain raw and it’s hard to know when a thought enters my mind that may cause a tsunami like wave of grief paralysis when it flows. It’s hard to breathe during those moments. My dear friend advised me to continuously recite Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un meaning, “Surely we belong to Allah [God] and to Him we shall return” [Qur’an 2:156] until the wave ebbs. I have been doing this and hope that with practice, the ebbs will come sooner. Until that occurs, I will manage the situation moment by moment.

In my professional career, leadership is paramount. I strive to be an authentic leader and model strong values and behaviors. As I sit and reflect on both my mother and my return to work, I realize how many leadership behaviors my mother possessed and modeled all her life. She embodied faith-based values such as integrity, honesty, responsibility, temperance, justice, courage, and compassion. How wonderful to be able to reflect on my mother as an example of leadership while I work.

May God shower my mother’s soul with His infinite mercy and blessings for all the values she instilled in me and reward her for any good deeds and actions that I carry on in her legacy. Ameen.

Bismillah (in the name of God) as I return back to work, and Alhamdulillah (all praise to God) for the work I do and the wonderful colleagues I work with.

If you have made it to this post / page, I would be most appreciative if you could say a prayer for my beloved mother. Thank you.